We come together this (evening) to remind one another

to rest for a moment on the forming edge of our lives,

To resist the headlong tumble into the next moment,

Until we claim for ourselves

Awareness and gratitude,

Taking time to look into one another’s faces

And see the communion: the reflection of our own eyes.

This house of laughter and silence, memory and hope, is hallowed by our presence together.

READING:

There are many stories about how someone small, and seemingly insignificant, is able to overcome obstacles that are insurmountable by large and seemingly stronger characters. Today I speak about both the small and the large. Both because the small and individual Fellowship Circle has the potential to achieve great things and the larger community can bennifit from their acheivements. These great things, when multiplied by six circles in our Fellowship can truly impact our larger community.

Briefly, the small groups, covenant groups, or as we call them, Fellowship Circles consist of 6 to 10 people who get together to discuss issues in their lives that are of deep meaning or issues that motivate us to action. Some might think that we follow a rigid outline for conducting our sessions and that may be true. However, the rigidness of our framework is intentional and allows us the flexibility to hear each other. Last May a steering committee here in the Fellowship started studying various models of these small groups, using Robert Hill’s book The Complete Guide to Small Group Ministry. This book discussed a "Paradox of Formality" which shows that people tend to stay attached to groups with clear formalized structures, because the expectations of the group members are made clear at the outset. Compare this with a family based model where rules are implicit, unspoken and not readily obvious to newcomers. While the program expects a specific format, the circles are run individually and the members of the circles decide how the format will be utilized.

Listening to one another, hearing and being heard, in my mind, is a cornerstone of this program. Being heard, what you think, how you feel, what your experiences are, where you’ve been and generally finding out, Who you are; these are the framework of the small group ministry.

Yes, it does sound too easy, too simplistic. Listening alone is too easy and too much of a simplification. But it is the foundation. From this step all the others follow. Because when you hear someone and find out what their point of view is or rather why their point of view is what it is, then you are on your way to a deeper understanding, a richer relationship and perhaps even the motivation to join this person in action.

Alice Smith, the facilitator of our Tuesday night circle and one of the members of the steering committee, shared this observation: "Think about a group of eight people out for dinner, sitting at a table together, with how many conversations going on? - at least two and probably three. People speaking loudly to be heard. The conversation drifts from one subject to another. You hear bits and pieces that interest you from the other end of the table, but you can't respond because the person beside you is also talking. There is competition for air time. A few dominate. You can't participate in all the conversations and the noise is bothersome. You may engage one or two near you and ignore the rest.

Alice reminds us that our’s is a group that intentionally listens. One person speaks at a time and all the others are supportive and attentive and respectful. It's not a 12-step program, it's not a committee meeting, and it's not a therapy session! And you learn from each other. Much wisdom and many insights are shared. People share personal experiences, some painful, some humorous, and they feel safe to reveal themselves.

Think about how we interact with each other in this community; we attend Sunday morning services, we might work on a committee together, we might see each other at an event or potluck or we might get to spend some quality time around the campfire at the annual retreat. Of all these times, when if ever, are we allowed time to listen to each other and be heard by others? (Pause for the implied "NONE!")

As a father, husband and at my work, my listening ability is often hindered by other duties and responsibilities. All too many of these times are marked by someone drifting into or out of the conversation... most often myself.

This sort of casual conversation is wonderful and it is the hallmark of many of our activities together, as it should be. This sort of conversation also allows us to engage in the spirited debate that may be what draws you to Unitarian Universalism. But is debate the only method to communicate? Is chatting an efficient way to learn about your friends? I say that they are vital interesting ways but not the only ways of communication. I maintain the more casual conversations may hinder deep listening, because you are always preoccupied with formulating your next response. Small groups offer me a time to think, reflect, offer ideas and tell my stories.

But if listening to each other were the only purpose of the Fellowship Circle program, I think the program would not last much longer than the six months we have enjoyed so far. Each fellowship circle exists with an expectation; an expectation that the people of that circle will act. We ask that each circle do one service for the fellowship and two services for the larger community each year.

I can hear the group members groaning and see them looking sheepishly at the floor. Because, none of the groups (to my knowledge) have yet done either. "GASP... but they are expected to!"

Let’s calm down and relax. This call to action is the fruit that is produced by the seeds we are sowing in our circles. And so far, our seeds have barely germinated much less matured.

What I am trying to convey with this biological metaphor is, we will get to this step, but first the circles must become better acquainted. My hope is, for each group to learn enough about each other that a service project will be obvious to its members. An activity that excites them all will reveal itself. Let me assure you that there is no expectation for how grand these projects will be. If each circle does a coffee hour, hosts a potluck or pitches in on a work project for the fellowship we are already reaping benefits of our "small packages." It doesn’t matter what the groups do as long as they are called to act. As far as community projects, the list is endless; feed the hungry, house the homeless, cure all disease AND unite all diverse religious communities under common causes would be a simple starting point. (Pause) However, if you decide to help at a homeless shelter, do a highway clean up, or a car wash; the potential I spoke about earlier will also be realized. Imagine this group of some 50 people in our 6 groups doing 2 projects a year for our communities. Does it matter what you do? To paraphrase Mahatma Gandhi, what we do may seem insignificant, but it is very important that we do it. Please know that just because you are not currently a member of one of these groups does not mean you cannot be involved. There is always room for more people in this program.

The mission statement of the UUFP reads and I am quoting from the back of your Order of Service: The mission of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of the Peninsula is to create a dynamic community that celebrates life and searches for truths. We offer a safe place for spiritual diversity and individual growth through lifelong religious education and service to the wider community. We honor our Unitarian Universalist principles and heritage.

I maintain that Fellowship Circles ARE a dynamic community that is safe for spiritual exploration and the search for your truths. We have the GOAL of service to ourselves and to others. I think these groups ARE a powerful resource to honor our principles and heritage.

If you don’t think great things come in small packages, maybe we should sit and listen to each other for a while.

Benediction: READING

And now we take our leave.

Before we gather here again -

may each of us bring happiness into another’s life;

may we each be surprised by the gifts that surround us;

may we each be enlivened by constant curiosity;

and may we remain together in spirit

‘til the hour we meet again.